idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
Randomize
