Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
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