Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Randomize
