This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
Randomize
