I CAN MOONWALK!
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
Randomize