Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
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