Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
Randomize
