i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
Randomize
