Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
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