My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
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