so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
It was like giving head to a cactus.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Randomize
