Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
PS: I just woke up from my shower
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
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