slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
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