he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
Randomize
