And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
Randomize