All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
Randomize
