dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
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