The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
