Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
Randomize
