If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
Randomize
