I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
Randomize
