69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
Randomize