If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
That was before I lit my hair on fire
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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