You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
Randomize
