chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
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