Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
Whatcha textin bout Willis?
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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