never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
