The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
He kissed a someone with a penis
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
Randomize
