Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
Randomize
