yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
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