hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Randomize
