Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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