we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
You can't just leave with hair like that
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
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