slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
Randomize
