Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
Randomize
