We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
I think I sprained my soul last night
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
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