I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
Randomize
