My boss' voice literally gives me gas
thus making me awesome and them whores
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
Randomize
