The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize