I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
someone owes me an orgasm
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
Randomize