Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
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