White coat. Heels.
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
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