R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize