question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
Randomize
