just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
Randomize
