i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
If its not for food we ain't going out.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
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