can you have the cops turn on the gps locator on my phone...i just woke up in a Hooters uniform and I have no idea where I am...
Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
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