I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
Randomize