I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
I FOUND THE LEGS
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
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