but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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