I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
it's like heaven, but drunker
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
Randomize
