i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
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