where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
Randomize
