just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Randomize
