my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
He kissed a someone with a penis
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Randomize
