Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
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