i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
Randomize
