I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
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