When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
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