the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
