Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
