apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize
