Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
Randomize
