If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
Someone signed my nipple.
Randomize
