I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
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