Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
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