How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
Randomize
